| 20 | Nobody Home

It doesn’t matter

There’s nobody home

I’m going to bed

Alone

Again

 

The colors bleed quickly

From steps on the wall

Obsessed with your portrait

I feel so small

You don’t take my call

Silence is all you give me

 

I cannot stop eating

I’m so fucking hungry

I’m not even hungry

I’m just fucking empty

 

These blankets are heavy

Like air in a coal mine

Am I the canary

Or is it just nighttime?

I strangle my sorrow

with bottles of cheap wine

 

The words I would tell you

Are loaded like lead lines

Weighing my tongue down

Thick carbon monoxide

You’re getting married

You’re doing just fine

Everyone tells me

You’ll be happy in no time

 

Cake top perfect lovers

I never was one of

I’m out of your mind now

I’m one of the others

It doesn’t matter

Nobody cares

I’m having a bad dream

Nobody’s there

Nobody cares

 

Nobody loves you

You’ll sleep alone

It doesn’t matter

There’s nobody home

You’ll sleep alone

 

No one can feel it

‘Cause Nobody is me

How can one person

Make me feel like nobody

I am nobody

| 19 | Going Into Winter

Going into winter without you

I’ve grown a little thinner without you

I tried to freeze the mem’ries about you

That fall into my thoughts like icicle rain

and I’m going into winter without you

It’s cold and there’s not much to do

But dream of the fire I could be beside

And making love on paper is all I can do

 

So my ear to the ground

And it likely will freeze there

Waiting for a sound

But knowing snow is silent

I’d like to imagine

Tiny flakes are your love

Collecting without permission

On my fleece pullover

But I know snow is silent

 

And I’m going into winter without you

I’ve grown a little thinner without you

I’ve tried to decode what about you

Is heated and tingling and thick in my veins

And I’m going into winter without you

It’s cold and there’s not much to do

But dream of the fire I once was beside

Now making love on paper is all I can do

| 18 | Here We Go

Here we go

Out in the cold again

Here I stand

Guiltily alone again

There I go

Sliding unstoppably toward you

 

Here we go

Searching for something in the dark

There you go

Thinking that it might be in my heart

But is it

Really what you see inside me

Or do you

Just need somebody to hide with?

 

I know I know

I know I know

I know I go

To an empty window

 

Here we go

Here we go

 

Here we go

Searching for something in the dark

There you go

Thinking that it might be in my heart

But is it

Really what you see inside me

Or do you

Just need somebody to hide with?

 

I know I know

I know I know

I know I go

To an empty window

| 17 | Habit

Song 17 of 60 | recorded 2018 | lyrics circa 2010

I need you more than you need that cigarette

Can’t wait to inhale the stale smell of the habits

That cling to you

Oh leave my brain

Why can’t you leave my veins why don’t you

Get out please, leave me alone

I don’t need your honey eyes

I don’t need to sink into your skin

You’re just a habit I can’t quit

Why do I check for your text every forty five seconds?

I guess this is how I tell you to hell with you

I don’t need your honey eyes

I don’t need to sink into your skin, I don’t need it

I just wish that you would let me in

You’re just a habit I can’t quit

The bog of your bed is drawing my body in

Suffocation in the head, but I’m happy to drown

But I’m happy to drown

I don’t need your honey eyes

I don’t need to sink in, into your skin

I just wish that you would let me

I just wish that you would let me

I just wish that you would let me in

Oh, let me in now

You’re just a habit

You’re just a habit

I can’t quit

I can’t quit

You’re just a habit I can’t quit

Can’t

| 16 | FoCo Rap

Song 16 of 60 | recorded 2018 | lyrics 2010

It’s Foco nice! It’s Foco rad!

Once you go Foco, you never go b-back

Summer sidewalks watch for goose poop

Every back yard has a chicken coop

Got a front yard garden, yeah I got a bike helmet

It’s a hipster paradise, so

Go out and tell it

It’s Foco fantastic, Foco fo’ sho’ yo’

We love Fort Collins, nicknamed it Foco

Got a hundred plus parks, got kiddies in the square

We got summer snow, but you can still ski in your underwear

It’s Foco nice! It’s Foco sweet

It’s Foco birdies, tweet tweet

Money say we are number one, we got 300 days of sun

Money say we are number one, 365 we Foco fun

Got Horsetooth rock, got lots of trail

Got mountain majesty, and golfball hail

It’s Foco nice! It’s Foco awesome

We holin’ up here like plural possum

We got Beet Street, got arts all day

We playin’ parts like the world’s a stage

It’s Foco nice! It’s Foco tight!

Our local Foco brews are outta sight

Got Belguim New, got Odell too

They make the Bud here and Fort Collins Brew (ry)

It’s Foco chill, it’s Foco hot!

There ain’t no match for what we got

Money say we are number one, we got 300 days of sun

Money say we are number one, 365 we Foco fun

We got the music, we got the beats

City of narrow minds, and wide streets

Got Poudre river, we got red ants

Those Poudre crazies, all dropped their pants

Big line of moonies, save river flow, oh

Foco tree huggers, let your booties show

It ain’t no joke, joke, it ain’t no joke!

We got a poster everywhere you go

Big line of tree huggers, moonin’ Foco

Say save the Poudre, just let it flow

Say save the Poudre, let your bootie show!

It’s Foco naked, it’s Foco crazy

It’s Foco sunny, 300 day-z

Got farmers’ markets, CSAs too

We got no worries, we grow our food, yes!

It’s Foco good! It’s Foco free!

Because we legalize prescription weed

It’s Foco nut’s! It’s Foco neat!

It’s Foco where everyone wants to be

Money say we are number one, We got 300 days of sun

Money say we are number one, 365 we Foco fun

It’s Foco yes! It’s Foco sir!

Yo Fort Collins, it’s gettin’ hot in herrrr!

We love Fort Collins, Foco for sure!

We love Fort Collins, cuz it’ s fuckin’ rad!

It’s Foco Rad! We love Fort Collins

And we’re never going back… to Cali…LA no way!

| 15 | Colton’s Song

Song 15 of 60 | recorded 2018 | lyrics 2010

If I ever knew you

I would have loved you

I would have loved you

You left too soon

You shouldn’t have had to run

We may never know why

We may never know why

 

When I love you now

I will love your mother

Your fathers and brothers

You will make us laugh even still

 

In the secret of the forest

Where the angels watch

In the Bitterroot Valley of home

His stardust will be reborn

 

Some flowers bloom only a day

The elusive species breathe briefly

Nature’s brilliance is fine

We must love it in her time

We may never know why

We may never know why

 

The bounty of time is only observed

We may never know why

We may never know why

We may never know why

We may never know

 

You left too soon

You shouldn’t have had to run

Now we watch for you

Between the moon and the sun

 

Twinkle twinkle little boy

Every smile spark of joy

Every morning light the day

Twinkle twinkle in your eyes

And your smile still lights the skies

And your smile still lights the sky

| 14 | Gratitude

Song 14 of 60 | recorded 2015 | lyrics 2010

You listened with a heart that no one else had

And you embraced my anger

Oh, thank you

Maybe there is some light in the face of adversity

Maybe there is some light in these obstacles

 

If you would give a little of your light to me

How it sparks, I’m not alone in this dark

Oh, thank you, thank you

 

Here where I have no friend

Here where I have nobody

This is not where my love ends

And you ignite me

Oh, thank you, thank you

 

And when you give a little of your light to me

Your flames edge out, edge out this awful freeze

Oh thank you, thank you

Oh thank you, thank you

 

I tilt toward your fire

I seek you, I need your heat

Your smile is some cure

Your smile is some cure for this pain

 

 

Thank you, Oh, thank you, thank you

Thank you, thank you

 

| 13 | Uniform

Song 13 of 60 | recorded 2014 | lyrics 2010

I won’t wear your uniform

I won’t be your paperwhore

I won’t be your covergirl

Maybe I’ll be alone

I won’t join your paper world

Maybe I’ll never be known

 

Cause I won’t be your little bird

And I won’t be your covergirl

 

I won’t wear your uniform

I won’t be your candywhore

Don’t you know there is more

To me

 

No you can’t, no you can’t push me around

No you can’t, no you can’t push me around

 

Cause I won’t wear your uniform

And I won’t be your kinderwhore

I won’t be your covergirl

Maybe I’ll be alone

I won’t be your covergirl

Maybe I’ll never be known

 

I won’t, I won’t, I won’t wear your uniform

I won’t, I won’t, I won’t, I won’t

I won’t, I won’t

I won’t, I won’t

| 12 | Kinderwhore

Song 12 of 60 | recorded 2010 | lyrics 2009

Piggy tails, diamond nails

Bubblegum, bend over hon

Pretty pink bow, neckline so low

Frilly lace, caked on face

Smeary eyes, black and tearing

Supple thighs, power steering

Poofy skirt, it doesn’t hurt when you hit me

Secretly stained inside

Stains I’d hide

And tell the lies you wrote for me

Tights stretch up to buttercup buns

Of sweet young little girly

Kneel and pose on the floor

Lovely girl, my Kinderwhore!

| 11 | Death Can’t Take Me Away

Song 11 of 60 | recorded 2013 | lyrics 2009

I rise from the grave to cradle your head

Whoever said love can’t survive death?

Death do us part, death do us part

Death can’t take me from you

I’m still holding you in my hand

Death can’t take me away

 

And when you’re alone

Remember I am here with you

Because I’ve come home

I am alive inside you

 

I know it’s not easy, but please don’t grieve

And don’t be afraid, my love

I will never leave you; I will never leave

 

Can you feel me rocking you to sleep?

Just let go, I’ll meet you in your dreams

Remember all the things we used to do

And how much I love you

 

I rise from the grave to cradle your head

Whoever said love can’t survive death

Death do us part, death do us part

Death can’t take me from you

I’m still holding you in my hand

Death can’t take me away